A Story of Mental Illness, Stigma and Courage

Here is an interesting story of teen mental health, stigma and courage. We need to reach out to them and help them to reach out to us!

Reteieved May 24th 2012 from: http://www.speakingofkidsmentalhealth.ca/resource/article-teen-faces-mental-health-stigma

 

speakingofkidsmentalhealth.ca
Let's talk

Article: Teen faces mental health stigma After making the long arduous climb out of depression, 16-year-old Di Sha Phillip wants to extend a hand to others trying to make the same difficult ascent. The Brampton Centennial Secondary School student is a bright, articulate young woman determined to remove the public stigma that clings to those suffering from mental health disorders and creates a potential obstacle to recovery. While battling depression, Phillip found stigma stained the way others saw her and even how she viewed herself. Neither perspective aided in getting help or recovering from the emotional fall that landed this teenager in a mental health unit at the local hospital. Phillip has bravely stepped forward to put a face on mental illness and establish a grassroots organization she has dubbed Students Erasing the Stigma. Her hope is to start youth chapters within local schools to raise awareness about mental health issues and assist troubled students looking for help. “I’m doing this because I got out of a really bad situation last year with depression and I’ve been involved in the mental health system and I realized there isn’t a lot of youth activism going on, like at a local level, to help people understand mental illness and mental disorders,” she said. Phillip is a high academic achiever who, at a glance, might seem an unlikely candidate to experience serious mental crisis. However, experts agree mental illness has no regard for intellect, gender, age, race, ethnicity or socio-economic standing. It strikes without discrimination, can be paralyzing and sometimes be fatal. Last year, Phillip was a Grade 10 student in Turner Fenton Secondary School’s highly regarded International Baccalaureate (IB) Program. The demanding pre-university course challenges the academic and life skills of high school students with the Peel District School Board. Program graduates can access universities all over the world. As depression began to take a firm grasp, other students in the highly competitive IB program started to see her as emotionally weak. She found herself shunned by peers, bullied and the topic of gossip. She has since transferred out of the IB program to Brampton Centennial. Some schoolmates last year referred to her as an “emo— a popular culture term and stereotype used to sometimes describe someone who can be emotional, introverted, depressed, prone to self-injury and suicidal. “I didn’t necessarily fit that kind of image, but I was very unhappy,” she admitted. “I did say a lot of negative things about my life, how I didn’t like myself and I didn’t like the way I was and the person I’d become and I guess they kind of didn’t really understand what was going on with me and they kind of started to ostracize me in that way.” High expectations, academic demands, stress and competition in the program, coupled with her poor self-perception, grandmother’s death and depression eventually led to a nervous breakdown. “I understood my feelings, but it took me a while to realize what I was feeling was depression and it was a serious mental illness.” She was admitted to the adolescent mental health unit at Peel Memorial Hospital where the clinical environment provided access to individual counselling with a psychiatrist and psychologist as well as group training sessions on depression. Participants discussed managing feelings, anxiety, anger and other emotions. “It was a very relieving experience because I was around other kids who were going through similar situations and it helped me feel at ease and I wasn’t alone,” she said. Many adolescents battling mental illness fear being labelled crazy by their friends and peers. Skewed ideas about possible treatment also make them apprehensive about seeking help. Phillip closed herself off from a support network of friends and family. Her parents knew something was wrong but she simply retreated to the bedroom. “They figured it was me being a typical teenager,” she said. Phillip’s parents, Onam and Chermine, are proud of their daughter’s efforts to get better and her plans to now help others. “I feel having gone through it, it was a really difficult time for the family and she’s been motivated enough to help other people or encourage other people to come forward and get the help that they need is wonderful,” Chermine said. In light of the death of Brampton teenager Nadia Kajouji, the family is counting their blessings. A boater found the first-year Carleton University student’s body in the Rideau River about five weeks after the 18-year-old walked out of her dorm room late one night in March. She had sent an e-mail saying she was going skating. It was later discovered the outgoing, high academic achiever was troubled by a breakup, struggling in school, depressed and talked about suicide. “It’s a big tragedy. I feel really bad about that. I keep thinking that could have been me if I didn’t get the help that I needed,” Phillip remarked. “It’s pretty scary, my parents were talking about that too.” Phillip revealed being stigmatized and ostracized by others, who did not understand mental illness, served to drive her further from friends and family. “It contributed to my low self-esteem and that made me sink deeper within myself,” she said. A school-based organization run by youth for youth can provide a valuable avenue for students seeking help, Phillip believes. She plans to enlist peer mediators in schools. The group, which presently includes a close friend, is planning community initiatives to raise funds as well as support and network with mental health service organizations in Peel. A Facebook group she created, under the same name, currently has more than 30 members. Phillip is preparing a funding proposal to finance youth conferences. She envisions an event that would gather students from local schools for educational workshops. They would return to their schools as ambassadors to raise awareness about mental health issues. “With this organization I’m trying to send the message to kids that we shouldn’t be quick to judge others,” Phillip explained. “Instead try to be supportive and try to understand what the other person is going through and that helps them want to get help and probably understand more about what they’re going through.” More information about the organization is available online at www.freewebs.com/studentserasingthestigma. She can also be contacted by e-mail at studentserasingthestigma@hotmail.com. • An estimated 10-20 per cent of Canadian youth are affected by mental illness or disorder. • The total number of 12 to 19-year-olds in Canada at risk for developing depression is 3.2 million. • Suicide is second only to accidents as the leading cause of death in 15 to 24-year-old Canadians. In some instances the afflicted, family or friends do not properly address serious emotional problems or mental illness because the signs of trouble are not recognized. University of Toronto Associate Professor and Chief Psychiatrist at the Hincks-Dellcrest Centre for Children Dr. Marshall Korenblum suggests looking for some of these warning signs: • Persistence — does depression last more than a couple of days? • Severity — does the emotional episode interfere with sleep, appetite, concentration, etc? • Functional impairment— does it prevent the child from doing necessary everyday things such as going to school? • Interaction with others — does it affect relationships with peers, friends and family? Most never seek help Stigma, misconceptions and stereotypes surrounding mental illness can be a real barrier to young people in need of help, according to experts. Help can make a difference for an estimated 80 per cent of people once depression is recognized, according to statistical data. An estimated eight to 10 per cent of adolescents may experience clinical depression at some point. “Of those, only one in six will ever get the treatment that they need and a large reason for that is absolutely because of stigma,” said Dr. Marshall Korenblum. Korenblum is associate professor at the University of Toronto and Chief Psychiatrist at the Hincks-Dellcrest Centre for Children in Toronto. Social acceptance can mean more to some young people than their own well-being. It is not uncommon for teenagers to resist confronting serious emotional problems to avoid the teasing, labeling and disapproval of peers. “Often in adolescents, the worse thing to be thought of is weak and mental illness is often thought of as a weakness or a character flaw,” explained Korenblum, who has been a practicing psychiatrist for more than 25 years. Stigma is, in large part, the result of a general ignorance about mental disorders, counselling and treatment. While there is plenty of health education occurring in schools, very little mental health literacy is a regular part of the school system for students or teachers, Korenblum noted. “Most youth or young people don’t have a clear idea what mental disorders are about and still have notions that you’re crazy if you go see a counsellor or a psychiatrist or psychologist,” said Yasmin Loewe, clinical supervisor with Nexus Youth Services, a community organization working with Peel Children’s Centre to offer teenagers and young adults counselling services. There are also many cultural barriers to confronting mental illness, Loewe added. In a culturally diverse community like Peel, she encounters many cultural taboos and stigmas around mental disorders. “A lot of cultures don’t understand mental illness or don’t believe in such things as mental illness,” according to Loewe. “Other cultures have taboos about talking about personal problems (they believe) you should keep within the family or you should speak to religious persons about.” Sufferers of mental disorders who have the courage to “come out” about dealing with their illness could have a very positive impact, Korenblum suggested. Their experiences could help raise awareness as well as shatter myths and stereotypes. • Peel Children’s Centre — 905-795-3500, http://www.peelcc.org/ • Canadian Mental Health Association— 905-451-2123, http://www.cmhapeel.ca/ • Mood Disorders Association of Ontario— 416-486-8046, http://www.mooddisorders.on.ca/ • Youth Net help web site—www.youthnet.cmha.peel.ca • Kids Help Phone— 1-800-668-6868, kidshelpphone.ca —Roger Belgrave, The Brampton Guardian, Friday June 20 2008 Submitted by admin on Wed, 11/18/2009 - 17:32

My Perspective … Cont’d

My Perspective … Cont’d

I wanted to add to my last blog  in regards to my perspective on mental health. There are many, many success stories of children and teens dealing with mental health and going on to live wonderful fulfilling lives, but today, I wanted to focus on the other side of mental health. Specifically, I wanted to talk more on reaching out to those in need who do not reach out to us. This has been an issue of concern in my mind for many years.

                During my volunteer experiences in mental health over the past several years I have become much more sensitized to, and consequently aware of, the mental health of teens and youth I have come in contact with through parents, friends or acquaintances who needed help or advice but would not open up or reach out for it. Some expressed their concerns to their peers ,but typically not to the adults who were close to them. What I generally hear is that parents, or other adults in an authority position, find out by accident or by prying and prodding the children for information. If teens do reach out, many parents and adults (the vast majority of who are ill informed about mental health) trivialize the teen’s symptoms or may listen but then take no action to help, passing off the symptoms as “bad behavior” or “teen moodiness”. Other parents who suspect something may be wrong have, timidly and with uncertainty, reached out to the medical community unsure of where to go or what profession to ask help from, only to receive mixed messages or dismissive diagnoses. This has left many of those parents, and the teens themselves, confused and unsure about their mental health , perhaps assuming that help does not exist for what they are experiencing. One action item is to educate the general population about mental health. Secondly, is to educate the population on who to see and where to go for help.

At the other extreme, if a child or teen begins to receive help, a seemingly small problem from the perspective of the teen or child can turn into an enormous ordeal for them where there are so many people prodding and probing both physically  and mentally that the teen rejects the cold, sterilized systemization associated with it causing treatment to become much less effective. I have heard one teen ask where the person was (an adult in authority they first reached out to for help) who they confided in and trusted in the first place.  Believe it or not, this person felt alienated and alone in a very large system full of people, without continuity and having to travel through the province to find help. A third action item is to Ensure continuity of relationship and trust.

Another major problem why some people do not reach out in the first place, is the burden on those who simply cannot afford to pay for the required services they expect or are told are necessary, which are often not covered by provincial, public or private health insurance. Many lower to middleclass people cannot afford the high priced professional help. The unfortunate result is that the parent or guardian becomes frustrated and the problem is left in the background to silently intensify and grow. A fourth action item, speaking as a future social worker, is to ensure that all teens and youth have a mental health advocate guaranteeing every individual has access to free face to face support and guidance as they work towards the help they seek and need.

Now, to the problem of reaching those who do not reach out. I know that when most of us have a problem, especially a very personal or emotional one, we tend to want to fix it ourselves without including others. If we have a support network of friends, family and others we may use them, but very often, particularly true of children and teens, we tend to keep things to ourselves. Many teens regress, become distant and internalize their distress, very often hiding it and remaining silent about what they are feeling. However for all of us, there is a time when we do let the outside world know there is something wrong. It is subtle and it is small, but we do typically communicate a problem exists – This is key!

Take a simple example of a headache. When we have a headache or a migraine, we will probable tell someone we have a headache briefly, take some form of headache medication, lay down on a bed, curl up and hope the pain stops. Pain and distress very often can make us want to withdraw and protect ourselves from the outside world, not wanting to reach out to it or engage in it. It is only when the pain and distress becomes overwhelming that we reach out and ask for help through desperation.

So the question becomes, “How do we reach those who do not reach out to us?” How do we make it easy, accessible and so comfortable that even the most timid will reach out to the thousands of us who are waiting to help them before the situation does become desperate?

I remember when I was a teenager, there were times when the world seemed particularly cruel towards me, or a school mate would make me feel bad, or perhaps I felt lonely or left out, my self esteem low, causing me to regress into my inner space and feeling sorry for myself. For me, those times did not last long. Like most of the population, we all have our ups and downs in a typical short cyclical fashion. However,  there are many who feel bad, don’t recover, their low self esteem persists with a depressive, sorrowful  or distressing frame of mind.

                Now I realize that there are teen and child help lines, hospitals, websites, blogs, social media and many other types of aid to those who will reach out, but as I have been describing, most will not reach out until desperation hits. At that point the problem could have been festering for weeks, months or even years. So again I ask, “How do we reach out to those who will not reach out to us and let them know we care and that there is someone who will help them?”

                Lets take a more serious example. Let’s say an average person hears a teen talk about feeling depressed, maybe engaging in self harm, have an eating disorder, low self esteem or at the extreme maybe talking subtly about not wanting to deal with life anymore.  The person listening might say things like, “Have you told your parents how you feel”, “You should see a doctor” “You know there are help lines to call if you’re feeling really bad”, “Have you considered seeing a psychologist or a psychiatrist?” I can tell you honestly, that when I was a teenager if someone had said these kinds of things to me, I know it would have deterred me from telling the person any more about the what I was feeling because the trust and empathy I was looking for was being redirected to an unknown individual or organization. That important and precious moment of a child or teen reaching out passes like the majestic whale coming up out of the water for a  breath – it only lasts for a moment and then it’s gone!

Feelings of trust and security are like beautiful flowers that open up when rays of the sun are present but will close quickly when the warmth of the sun’s rays are hidden, much like the expected warmth of another person when we expose our feelings and secrets to someone trusted. It can be really difficult for someone to reach out, but once done, the listener needs to take action right then and there. A fifth action item is to encourage and teach those trusted confidants to take action and stand by the person in need until trust can be transferred or expanded.

                The more I struggle with this the more I realize that, as a teen, when I had emotional pain or bad feelings I was looking for answers and a way that I could fix my problem by myself. I was too embarrassed or felt too small in the eyes of the larger world to want to speak up. Perhaps the way to reach out is to make the information available. But we do that in abundance on the internet and social media already! So what’s missing? It could be argued, not everyone has access to the internet or social media– Very true! So even though there is information and help out there we are still not reaching them! 

                How do we get the shy and unsure child or teen to hear our messages of hope and help? I know as a teen my world was pretty small. These days people do travel more and the global community is expanding to our teens and youth but I would venture to guess that their world is still pretty small. Therefore I would suggest A sixth action item, We need to become available to that smaller and less traveled world. How do we do that?

In grades 1-8 the world is very small and it typically hinges on the family, school, and that environment. In high school the teen brain is changing, developing and trying to make sense of the world as their frontal lobes transform. There is also the pressures of school, peers, perhaps sports and other after school activities, so even though their world has expanded it is still very small, and reaching out into the larger world is just beginning to be looked at. By the beginning of college and university in the late teens, the world hits them like a ton of bricks and can be exciting but also very overwhelming. Therefore, it would seem appropriate to try to insert a flag or a marker to draw their attention or somehow enter into that smaller more closed world so that we are seen, available, trusted and safe to approach for those who may want to subtly reach out. It’s kind of like holding up a sign from the sidelines as the marathon runners go by and they can reach out and take some food or drink or see some valuable information, But it has to be in their world  - Not ours! We need to be in the race with them – beside them!

So I have briefly discussed that there are teens and youth who clearly struggle with mental health, but even after they are told of the various places to seek help, places to look up on the internet, or the help lines  - they don’t or they won’t. This is exactly my point -  I believe it to be one of the most important aspects of mental health - Connecting to those who need help who cannot or will not come to us!. To me the time to reach out is right there - right then, in their own world, when they may make that first subtle move to reach out and tell someone there is a problem, and then keeping continuity with that trusted person and the relationship strong. By telling our youth about helpful services, where to go for help, that there are always help lines available 24/7, to see a family doctors or that hospital  personnel are always available to see them, etc, etc, etc, are all good and useful for some people to be sure. However, they are too late for what I believe to be the larger population in need because we have missed the opportunity when their outward and subtle cry for help or advice has dissolved into time and space and now has been withdrawn and no longer exists.

The question is, how can we be present at that vital moment in time when that subtle reach for help and the opening of the precious and vulnerable flower is present? To Be right there in that small window of opportunity when it happens and as it happens, then, to hold on to that trust and transfer or expand it as carefully and as possible so as not to  lose it.

An analogy would be like to trying to approach fish in the ocean:

First you have to be where they are;

Then they must get comfortable with you being there;

Then they must feel absolutely safe to approach you or they will avoid you.

We must tread carefully but purposefully -To assist while simultaneously allowing the wonderful blossoming of a young and unique human being to develop.

My Perspective

Mental Health and Our Children and Youth

I am writing this blog today in response to a 15 year old who lost his battle with suicidal thoughts yesterday living right here in my own region. It is a story of sadness, frustration and a society that failed this young man and his mother’s cries for someone to help.

                The article in the local paper on May 3^rd talks about how those who are providing services are doing a good job but there just aren’t enough resources to fill the needs of the people who require mental health services. I find it frustrating that, like so many others, as a person who would like to help I am not able to do more because I do not yet have the specific university degrees or years of experience in clinical settings etc, etc, etc. Although I do think that having the right qualifications are necessary in order to give the best care possible, I believe that  if even one person dies because someone, even with lesser qualifications didn’t try to help, it is the death of one person too many. I agree with the mother in the article who says we need to change the system. We don’t want to blame those who are trying to make a difference, but change the way we do things so that no one is left behind and no one is missed or lost in the “system”.

                In my years spent on the crisis lines I have always struggled with the idea that as many people that I was able to talk to because they called in to the crisis lines, there are probably 100 times as many who struggle on their own and we never hear from them. How do we reach out to those sitting in the basement bedroom alone and cutting, with suicidal thoughts running through their heads, at the receiving end of physical or sexual abuse, being bullied, struggling with self esteem, racism or LGBT issues, dealing with untreated depression, anxiety or eating disorders to name just a few or thinking they are ugly or worthless or somehow less than their peers? How do we reach out to them and tell them “YOU MATTER TO ME”, that there are a lot of people who do care about you even if you don’t see them or know where to find them? How do we explain to our youth that every single one of them are special and meaningful to this world? How do we reach out to those who struggle in silence who may not know, may not be able to find or may not be able to get to help and tell them we are here?

                I desperately want to help and I can’t help but think that there is something we are missing, something that could be implemented, something that we are overlooking, or something that we can do to reach all of those people who I know we are missing. It seems like we are stuck in a system that seems to go round and round and we will never move forward until we can stand back and take a critical reflection of what we currently do. As my professors of Dalhousie University tell me often, we need to get a critical perspective of what we have, dig down to its roots and find the underlying beliefs, assumptions and world views that we are basing our current paradigm on and challenge them. How can we do things differently in order to bring about the change we are looking for? I pledge to you all I will do that and make every effort to make a difference for our youth at home and abroad.

                The reason I started this blog was from the inspiration of my social work professors at Dalhousie University that expressed change is not passive. You have to take action. I did not know what to write about at first, starting slowly with much uncertainty and that uncertainty continues today but I am pushing forward, learning, observing, understanding and reaching out as life pushes me forward into the unknown. As I continue to write and learn and interact with the global community I find that I am certainly not alone. I don’t know where this journey will take me but I do know that there is a very large global community out there who cares about our children and youth of today and of tomorrow. I know together we can take action and make this a better world for them now and in the future. After all, our children are our future!